Earlier this month, I read an article in which the author interviewed a golf trophy. Giving life to an inanimate object to gather its wisdom and experience was an interesting, albeit foreign, idea. But it got me thinking: What would it look like to have a conversation with “The Market” (the embodiment of the S&P 500)? What knowledge might we learn from this nebulous thing if only we could ask it? If you’ll indulge me, the following is my (obviously fictious) discussion with Mr. Market.
I catch up with Mr. Market in a local cafe. I spot him in a corner, twitching and nervously slurping down black coffee. He wears a black pinstripe suit but is clearly disheveled. Perhaps the caffeine is getting the best of him.
“Hello, I’m Steve,” I say as I take my chair across from him.
“Mr. Market,” he replies, “Stan P. Market.”
Mr. Market: “Let me guess, you want to know if I’m going to be up or down tomorrow, right? Everyone always wants to know which way I’m heading. I like to tell them, ‘Up and to the right,’ though it’s anyone’s guess how long it will take me to get there!”
Steve Booren: “Not really. I’m not interested in where you’re heading tomorrow, or even later this month. My questions are a little more philosophical. Here’s the first: How do you measure your own success?”
Mr. Market: “Most people measure my value simply by my ‘price,’ the number they see day-in and day-out. Millions of people around the world study, talk and write about me, but so much of it is silly. My ‘price’ is the sum of so much more than the companies I represent. Investors tend to forget about my resilience. Sure, I take a punch every now and again, but for almost 75 years, I’ve always gotten back up. That’s my greatest accomplishment. Think about it: Every 12–18 months, my price falls 10–20%. Every five to seven years or so, I really shake things up with a 30–50% drop, like back in 2008 and 2020. But I always get back on my feet. Those moments shake out the weak investors while rewarding the fearless who recognize that my resilience is a testament to the innovation, creativity and drive of all my different parts.”
Booren: “Interesting. Would you say you accurately represent the economy, or something else entirely?”
Mr. Market: “That’s a hard question. What is ‘the economy’ anyway? People tend to see me as a measuring stick for economic health, but the economy is much bigger than me. It encompasses GDP, policy, banking, real estate, the job market and more. In a way, I represent how people feel about the economy, but don’t forget that feelings are emotional. How I look can be warped by investor sentiment, day trading, or even a random social media post. My true value is always buried under a layer of emotions, and those feelings are constantly changing.”
Booren: “That must be difficult, with all the expectations people have of you.”
Mr. Market: “Buddy, you don’t know the half of it. People come to investment advisers like you for help with their retirement, but I’m the reason they get to retire. As my old friend Warren Buffett says, compounding is the eighth wonder of the world. Even I am not sure how it works, but I’ll tell you this: It only works for those who stick with it. I admit, I love scaring people. Sometimes, for no particular reason, I’ll throw a chair across the room just to see what they do. A few weeks ago, I whiplashed investors with a single-day swing of almost 10%, scaring the heck out of everyone while finishing the day up! Some will flee in terror, and others quietly nod and go back to what they’re doing because they know what to expect of me.”
“When I’m throwing a tantrum, people forget I’m not always levelheaded. I remind people of the risks of hanging out with me, but I also say, ‘no risk, no reward.’ Over the years, I’ve worked with those who get me and those who don’t. Warren and Charlie understood me better than most in one aspect: I love patient people. If you expect me to be your best friend after only a few hours, days or weeks, that doesn’t usually work out. But I take care of those who stick with me, even when I’m acting a little noisy and irrational.”
Mr. Market pauses for a moment and checks his phone as if he’s expecting a call.
“Great,” he says with a tinge of sarcasm. “Bitcoin is down again. … Oh no; no, wait, now it’s up. And you all think I’m finicky.” He stands up and gathers his things, then unscrews the lid on the sugar jar and gently sets it back on top with a sly smile. “A little chaos is always fun,” he says as he walks out of the shop.
As I watch Mr. Market disappear into the parking lot, I’m reminded of something essential: It’s not about figuring him out. It’s about learning to live with him. He’s emotional, impulsive and occasionally erratic, but he always finds his way forward — eventually and unpredictably. Investors who understand this can stop trying to time his moods and start preparing for them instead.
Remember this: Discipline, patience and perspective will serve you far better than prediction, reaction or obsession. Mr. Market doesn’t owe you consistency — but he does reward those who treat him with long-term respect. So the next time Mr. Market throws a chair, take a breath. Stay the course. And let time — and temperament — do the heavy lifting.
Steve Booren is the founder of Prosperion Financial Advisors in Greenwood Village. He is the author of “Blind Spots: The Mental Mistakes Investors Make” and “Intelligent Investing: Your Guide to a Growing Retirement Income” He was named by Forbes as a 2024 Best-in-State Wealth Advisor, and a Barron’s 2024 Top Advisor by State.
