To the outside observer, Owen’s love for his children is not in doubt.
The trailer for his new show, Meet the Owens, shows glimpses of what appears to be a happy home life with his wife and children. And in 2024, the former England striker spoke movingly about his son James’s sight loss, saying: “If I could give him my eyes… I would.”
Pushed by podcast host Laing to explain why he doesn’t let the ‘I love yous’ flow freely, Owen told Laing that “I would love to be a little bit soft”.
“I’m definitely getting softer,” he said, “but still not soft enough to say anything like that.”
Using the word “soft” to describe telling your children you love them reflects long-standing attitudes many fathers have towards parenting, both Dale and Dr Britto suggest.
They say it’s a result of different contexts, such as culture, class, gender and a generational divide
“I think that’s the dangerous part there,” Dale says, “the belief of what men should and what men shouldn’t do.”
Many fathers believe their role is simply to “provide”, but they can do so much more, he says.
“Men are much more than just providers… what about our emotional capacity and willingness to have conversations and be there as fathers? And maybe we can’t provide, but you know what? Our presence is at full capacity.”
He adds that he thinks people’s style of parenting “always stems from somewhere”, including whether they were often told they were loved as a child.
