I do not doubt for a second that, if you’ve been on the internet the last few weeks, you’ve probably heard that Chappell Roan’s latest single “The Subway” is out. Already it’s been set up as one of three contenders fighting for the No.1 spot on Billboard’s Top 100. But for a certain subset of fans, Roan’s success isn’t a good thin. Instead, it’s proof that the artist they knew before she was famous has officially passed into mainstream stardom — and lost her artistic credibility along the way.
Anyone who’s unironically saying the words “I knew them before they blew up” in an effort to gatekeep their favorite musician or put down new fans probably has bigger issues to deal with. However, in response to one internet faction’s dismay over Chappell Roan’s success, another is turning that hand-wringing into a hilarious new meme.
For example, on Twitter/X, one person recently posted: “‘I knew Sabrina before she blew up.’ ‘I knew Chappell before she blew up.’ Ok well guess who I knew before he blew up?” The tweet was accompanied by an image of Gale, a character from Baldur’s Gate 3 who may blow himself up using a magic orb depending on how you play the game.
This got me thinking: How many characters do I know who blew up (or died in other explosive ways) in the TV shows, movies, and video games I Iove? The answer: quite a lot.
Jyn Erso — Star Wars: Rogue One
Yeah, yeah, everyone knows Cassian Andor (Diego Luna) thanks to the Disney Plus gritty spy series, Andor. But what about Jyn Erso? Played by Felicity Jones, Jyn has been fighting the Empire since she was a kid, spending most of her childhood years with Saw Gerrera’s Partisans. When the time came, Jyn chose to sacrifice her life (alongside Cassian and several other notable characters from Star Wars: Rogue One) on Scarif in order to get the Death Star plans to Leia Organa. Her reward? Getting blown to smithereens. Sorry, Jyn.
You can find even more about her in her very own novel, Rebel Rising by Beth Revis, which I thoroughly recommend if you want to know more about her and her truly tragic life. You thought Anakin Skywalker had it bad? Try walking a day in Jyn Erso’s disintegrated shoes. Then we’ll talk.
Commander Shepard — Mass Effect
Ah, Shepard. Easily one of the best BioWare protagonists and someone who often puts the lives of others first. After all, nothing quite says team player like staying behind on a wrecked SSV Normandy to ensure the pilot can escape in time. Heroic and brave as this is, it does lead to Shepard being inside the ship when it explodes. However, because they are in space, they fortunately survive. The downside is that the explosion tosses them into the depths of outer space and manages to tear a hole in Shepard’s space suit. Not dying in an explosion, yay! Dying via suffocation, nay!
You might think, Aimee, this choice is very obvious, but the reality is that some people played Mass Effect 2 first and, as a result, didn’t get to know Shepard before the Commander sacrificed themselves to save their crew. So, let’s not argue and just accept that I’m morally superior here.
Gale Dekarios —Baldur’s Gate 3
I know Gale Dekarios a little too well, if you ask me. Despite being tempted several times by Shadowheart’s come hither eyes, Lae’zel’s brutal efficiency, and Wyll’s impressive dance moves, it was Gale’s big brown eyes and pathetic demeanor that won me over in the end. Sorry, he gives me cuteness aggression.
Unfortunately for Gale — and my poor Tav — my latest playthrough had me playing on Honor Mode. With this mode, if your entire party dies, you either start again from the very beginning or continue in Custom Mode, losing your potential reward and achievement. I’d already struggled my way through the first two acts, and with victory being so close, I was adamant it would not be in vain. With Gale having a magical bomb in his chest that he can set off at the very last battle, I knew that some of us would die, but that was a sacrifice I was willing to make.
Goodbye, my sweet love. Thank you for helping me get that all-important Honor Mode trophy.
Press F to pay respects
Tadashi Hamada — Big Hero 6
Before you start booing, know that Tadashi’s inclusion is what I do to cope after his explosive exit in Big Hero 6.
Established as selfless early on, Tadashi runs back into a burning building to save Professor Robert Callaghan, but an explosion occurs moments later. I can’t even make a joke about this, because the grief that Hiro, Tadashi’s brother, as well as his Aunt Cass, feel throughout the rest of the movie is heartwrenching. All that lost potential. Gone with a bang. Nope. I can’t joke about it. Let’s move on.
Grand Cleric Elthina — Dragon Age 2
When I say I knew Elthina, I mean it in the ‘we passed each other in the street sometimes’ sense. You know how it is. Grand Cleric Elthina would be thinking of ways to be absolutely useless against anything politically important, like mage rights and elven oppression, and I was busy running past her to look for torn trousers to sell for two silvers. The economy in Kirkwall really is in shambles.
Still, I don’t think she deserved the fate that my ex-situationship Anders put her through. Nor the fact that I helped make it happen. But listen, if your ex comes to you and asks you to get him some materials to help sort out his issues (aka, separate himself from the Spirit of Justice residing in his body), you would hardly think he’s going to use them to blow up a church with Grand Cleric Elthina still stuck inside, now would you?
Freddy Krueger — Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare
If anyone deserves to get blown up, it’s gotta be Freddy Krueger (Robert Englund). While he’s always got something to say that will make you snicker under your breath, he also happens to be the worst guy around — in real life, in your dreams, and when you’re playing against him in Dead by Daylight.
Freddy does his fair share of exploding others in Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare, but he gets a taste of his own medicine when his daughter Maggy (Lisa Zane) shoves a pipe bomb into his chest and wishes him a Happy Father’s Day. Good riddance, you pest.
Professor Charles Xavier — X-Men: The Last Stand
Honestly, trying to find an X-Man who hasn’t been blown up before is a bit of a tall order. But none have been quite as memorable as the OG: Professor Charles Xavier.
While I know it’s sacrilege to express even a small fondness for X-Men: The Last Stand, there’s something undeniably poignant about the showdown between Jean Grey (Famke Janssen) and Xavier (Patrick Stewart). The two, once allies with a mentor-mentee relationship that borders on creepy in the comics, are wrought in two different directions, one that leads to Charles’ death at Jean’s hands after she transforms into the cosmic force known as Phoenix. For a movie that is, objectively, a bit crap, it managed to make 12-year-old Aimee holler and throw herself on the floor in agony. So it can’t be all bad.
28-year-old Aimee is not so forgiving. Come on, Charles, a little thing like being shattered into atoms is stopping you from helping out your fellow X-Men? Get it together, man. The world is in crisis!
Kanan Jarrus — Star Wars: Rebels
I tried hard not to include more than one Star Wars character on this list (there are, not so shockingly, over 15 characters who have been blown up throughout the series), but I could not end this list without mentioning my favorite Jedi, Kanan Jarrus.
After sharing a sweet kiss with fellow Rebel and best pilot in all of Star Wars (Anakin and Poe fans can argue with a wall), Hera Syndulla, Kanan meets an unfortunate end after the Empire blows up the fuel tower he and Hera are standing on. The inferno looks like it will kill them both, but Kanan keeps it from engulfing them with the Force long enough to push Hera back on the ship. Sharing a glance with Hera – the Force even going as far as to restore Kanan’s eyesight one last time – Kanan uses the last few seconds of his life to push the ship away before being engulfed by the flames.
Dear readers, I took an entire week off work after that death. Star Wars loves to separate all the couples I love: Kanan and Hera, Vel and Cinta, Han and Leia… I hope the next couple I fall for in this franchise either lacks an evil son, isn’t killed by the most offensive lesbian death trope in media, or stands next to any flammable objects, otherwise I’ll lose my mind.
